Night time is always the worst for me too.

I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. I've felt like this many times and I wish I could give you a magical solution but there's not one. I'd suggest just taking one minute at a time. Focus on just getting thru the night and talk with your T if you have one. They will have some suggestions for how to work thru these feelings.

Minute by minute. Remember you aren't alone.