Well, my T double booked yesterday (his software is being crazy). And he was late because he had to see his own T for his stuff. I ran into his other client and at least was able to let her know he was at the doctors. She was very nice. I was going to let her have the time and just leave and she was going to go eat and come back after me. LOL both of us trying to be nice. But T was in a bad place and did the right thing and cancled both of us. Hee hee. Poor T . At least he is smart with stuff like that.

I did get to talk to him for about 5 min. He told her to call him and they will reschedule then he had me go in to do that. I felt kinda strange about that like I was in trouble somehow.

T has me set to see him tommorow but it is during work time and my boss is out of the office. But I need to see him. I wrote and was going to say I would be OK. But I just about exploded on a customer at work on the phone - which is totally not cool.
I am trying to stay grounded, but I am really not healthy right now since they came into work in my space and set up those camera filming lights trying to interview me and it shot me back to the dumb CSA filming junk!! URRRR!!!
And I am on call this weekend which is a huge trigger anyway.
I am dissociating again which gives me a major DID headache.
And I keep wanting to self harm in a very serious way that could harm me for life - which is my intentions when I do it.
So I am just trying to take it one hour at a time.