I feel almost exactly like this. Some sessions are easier than others, but I certainly recognise that place of being unable to communicate with T. It's almost like being stuck inside yourself while T drones on about 'getting better' and 'achievements' and all that malarky. I really feel for you in this and would encourage you to communicate in any way you can, whether via email or giving her a letter. Personally, I find it impossible to express myself when I'm in a childlike, shut down place.