good post granite. very timely for me. I remember my father getting a letter telling him that his mother (in Italy) had died. we were sitting at the dining room table in the evening. I said, "So what, she was old anyway, wasn't she?" He looked at me and said, "It was my MOTHER!" I didn't understand connection. Neither of my parents connected to me. I see now how my statement must have sounded to him, but as a child, I was a product of my upbringing. My mother told me a few years ago, "You really ARE a monster!" because I didn't realize she was choking - she has a chronic cough, who could tell the difference? But it was enlightening to know that was the family's opinion of me.

It sounds like you're a little worried T is going to ask you to show compassion for the mother. Trust me, that is the last thing she is going to ask. One might even say you already show your family too much respect, to your own detriment.

I think your T is talking about her showing you compassion. Her example about cutting the session short, saying it would be mean to do that, went to show how that didn't even REGISTER as mean to you. You had to be TOLD that was mean. Hmm. (I think my T was saying kind of the same thing, when I told him I didn't feel connected when I gave him the monkey.) I think our thermometers are faulty! It's still hot or cold out, mean or compassion, but we don't read it quite right? It has to be REALLY cold out, or REALLY hot, for us to notice.