((((((((Twisted_Soul))))))))
I hope you feel better soon.
I get to feeling like that sometimes too and it's really hard to see past the ickiness of it all when you're there. It sounds kind of stupid but out of nowhere the littlest thing pulls you out of it. Once it was my dog dropping one of his toys in my lap that perked me up, another it was having a stranger smile and say hello to me while I was walking to the store, another I was just sitting there when I suddenly realized everything I've been through and how for the most part I made it through it all pretty good without any help from anybody and it seems dumb to hear but you'll see, it'll just come out of the blue-something, nothing, anything and it will lift your heart up and give you your second wind.
I hope it comes to you soon. Hang in there, okay?