wow everyone thanks so much to think about and respond to.

yes i knew my grandfather well he would call me his little spider monkey because i was so small and thin lol.he was a good guy

as for compassion toward my son i don't know.i thought about it and don't know.i know i love him and i have a deep concern for his well being but not so sure if it isn't because of the fall out when things are no OK with him.as he is not home and i rarely see him the connection and intensity of that relationship seems to diminish I'm sad to say.

some of the way i think about compassion is very cynical.i don't believe i have a great capacity for compassion,empathy,or sympathy.i mean if you look at all these responses they don't have much return for the basic self involved person.i think to show compassion for another only affects that person. behaviors are easy.i can go over to a person who is clearly upset and put my arm around that person and listen to what that person has to say.it may look like compassion to the person who i put my arm around but for me maybe maybe i have just learned from others that this is the correct response.not that i can feel what that person is feeling or necessarily want to make this person feel better but that i just know this is the correct response to the situation.

as far as love,careing,etc...these all have a return and can be seen as selfish emotions.we love to get love back to have companionship.we show concern for a situation often feeling how in the long run will this affect me.if a person is sad,angry etc... will they hurt me in response.i am concerned and want to go put my arm around them defuse the situation.selfish motives not compassion right.