I'm avoidant/dismissive. A lot of therapists call it: Disorganized Attachment. I'll approach the relationship but I'm quickly overwhelmed by any sign of attachment both in real life or in therapy. (in therapy, that means that any sign of attachment makes me run like the wind . .. which means a lot of canceled appointments and no return for months on end). In my personal life, if a partner leaves or moves on, it means they are gone from my life and I don't feel anxious or worried. It's like they just move on.

I HATE the idea of anyone having any control over my actions or affections. I'm fiercely independent . . to the degree that it's detrimental to my health. I have trouble borrowing a freakin hammer from a neighbor because it might mean I'm "beholden" to that person. I have no problem loaning something to another person, but I have to do it all on my own and I'm not inclined to ask for a "favor" in return. I'm a workaholic and successful in my long time career but that means that I don't HAVE to rely on anyone for anything financially. I've done it for so long that it is hard to make changes that allow comfortable attachment and/or true intimacy.