TRIGGER for mention of si...

Dear T,
I love you and I hate you right now. Today's session was so hard for me. I felt like it was out of my control most of the time. I wanted so badly to just start crying, but I managed to hold it in.

When you asked if I could tell you I was angry with you and I said I wasn't that was honest. Right then I was not angry. I was appreciative like I said. I was very appreciative of what you said at the end of session.

But now that a few hours have passed, I am angry about the middle of our session. I am angry because I feel like you are minimizing my stress at work. You just don't understand it. No one outside our organization does. You made me feel like I was dramatizing it and making more than it was...well **** that. You have no idea. I am not sharing stuff about work with you anymore. Now I feel like crap. I want to si so badly right now and never ever tell you about it again. It will be my little secret that you don't know. I am shutting down...I can't do this anymore. I am too tired. It's all too much right now.

I know you were all excited about the progress. It showed in your voice. I am sorry that I just can't share that with you. Depression is safe. I know it. I am so tired of the ups and downs. The down is just easier right now. Sorry.