Why are you going back to your wife? You didn't love her enough to NOT cheat on her. You are still Opining for this other woman. You already know the sex is not as fulfilling. Hmmm hurting your wife again?

What seems more important is YOUR hurting, NOT your wifes hurting. And that didn't matter to you when this other LOVER was planning on a future with you. And if she suddenly changed her mind and can't get back together with her husband? Well, what would happen with your WIFE whom you promised to LOVE AND CHERISH because YOU DIDN'T DO THAT DID YOU?

My personal opinion is that YOUR WIFE IS RIGHT, YOU NEED TO GET " YOU" FIGURED OUT BEFORE YOU DRAG "HER" INTO A HURT SHE NEVER DESERVED YET AGAIN.

You can take as long as you need to opine and grieve and figure YOU out, but make sure you get that all settled before you hurt anyone else.

Another clue, you talk about the girl friend as a lover. People who are in love MAKE LOVE.
You talk about your wife as "sex is a function" men who are not IN LOVE just have SEX.