This was so hard to read...I am so sorry this has happened to you.

I hope you will seriously consider the question about where you at the altar now...I know this is an incredibly hard reality to face, but no one deserves to be treated as he is treating you. He is, bluntly put, raping you. No means no. No matter what the reason, no matter who is saying it. Anything going on past your "no" is rape.

Furthermore, please don't trivialize emotional abuse. It is just as bad as physical, possibly worse. The scars from emotional abuse heal much slower than the bruises ever would. I know it can't be easy, but you need to do whatever it takes to get out of this.

I am sorry. I will keep you in my prayers.