It seems to me like you have a lot of right to be angry! Sometimes healing is like peeling back the layers of an onion. Each time you get one layer deeper, you have to go thru making peace again. Eventually, you get to the core and make your final peace. It sounds like you are working thru another layer.

I have no grand wisdom on surviving your mother's visits. Trips to my mom used to take a lot of Xanax on my part, Do you have anything like that? Or can you ask for something? It should make it much more tolerable.

Meanwhile, vent all you need to. That's what PC is here for!
Sending support and hugs,
Buggs