laverly, it seems to me that your boyfriend has two strikes against him. Number one is that this kids DEFINITELY need some disipline, and he is not providing it. I don't know what his reasons are, maybe he thinks he is doing right, maybe he doesn't care, or maybe he is afraid to, but in any case if you think about it, it is really a selfish thing to do because his kids are going to suffer for it. Where are they going to end up 5, 10 years from now without some disipline to at least try to set them straight?

Second thing is not caring about your feelings. Whether or not he is doing right by his kids, just the fact that it upsets you and causes you more work and grief makes it worth his attention if he cares about you.

Of course only you can decide how much you want to do and can do. Can you get counseling yourself if he is unwilling to do so? It might help with your peace of mind, might help clarify things for you, might give you some options. Could you offer some discipline to his kids and risk upsetting him if it might make things better? Also have you considered not picking up after them, have you and your daughter only clean your own stuff, and make it clear that if they don't want to live in filth then they have to help out?

Anyway good luck with this and keep posting here. There are people here with more experience with this kind of thing and I am sure they will have some suggestioins as well.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
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