Girlio - you're very confused ATM. The reason you're both separated is to put distance between you. You're an abused woman and this messes with your mind. Men who abuse are VERY charming at 1st and true they do have some redeeming qualities. That time when you fell in love is gone and you both need time to heal. If he tried to kill you...there's no going back.

You have to stop letting him come to your house and draw the line to 'no more physical contact'. That image of the man you fell in love with is gone. Reach out for help from an abuse women place. I don't mean to sound harsh but one day you may end up killed. There's no negotiating with a man like this. Its time to draw the line, even it it means getting restraining order or going some where safe. This isn't a relationship that can be worked out and you need to stop flip flopping. You'll never be able to think straight with him barging in when ever he wants. You deserve some peace, therefore what steps are you willing to take today?