Hello, so I know this is so so long but I have absoutely no one to talk to about this and I really just wanted to write it all out. Thank you in advance if you do end up reading all this, it means a lot to me.

So I've been going out with my boyfriend for only 7 weeks. We met 3 months ago on this course at college I'm doing. It was all so sudden.. One day I didn't think anything of him and then one day me, him and some friends of ours played truth or dare (I know, childish right hah) and one of mine was to kiss him on the cheek and his was to just give me a hug and from that point onwards I just started crushing on him. Then a couple of days later he told me he liked me and then a couple of weeks after that we were going out. It was all so weird to me since he is nothing like the type of guy I thought I'd ever be with and because I've never had a boyfriend or anything.

So anyway everything was great for a couple of weeks but then he got a full time job at a restaurant and only started going into college once a week to finish off his work. So obviously I couldn't see him as much as I did at the beginning. I only really see him at college once a week on Wednesdays now. His hours are really long and he has no time to see me any other time. The problem is ever since he got this job a month ago he has barely texted me or anything. I know he's busy but I thought he would at least have 5 minutes somewhere during the day to send me a message or something. I'm starting to feel so forgotten... he messaged me left week saying that he misses me and that he has forgotten me but his actions make me wonder otherwise. Then as the weeks went on every week when he came into college to do work he would talk to me during the day less and less. Yesterday when he came into college he didn't say a word to me all day. Every week I get so upset when he comes in and but doesn't talk to me and yesterday I felt like crying.. but I couldn't go up to him and talk to him about it because I'm so scared and shy to so I ended up leaving it. I know he can get a bit shy about talking to me but this is ridiculous.

Now today another guy in my class told me that he liked me and he asked me if I would kiss him and basically have sex with him and for a brief second I seriously thought about it even though I have my boyfriend.. and I've only kissed my boyfriend like 2 or 3 times so far. I mean I wouldn't have slept with him since I'm a virgin and I don't want to lose my virginity that way but for a second I wanted to kiss him.

I like my boyfriend a lot, He has the most amazing personality and I think about him 24/7 literally. I miss him so so much.. but now I feel so guilty and I feel like the worst girlfriend in the world. I knew I probably wouldn't of kissed the other guy even if I wanted to because I could never ever cheat on my boyfriend he is too amazing. I'm not that kind of person but I feel bad for even thinking about it.

I just want me and my boyfriend to be talking again and I want to be able to see him again but now I really feel like I don't deserve him and that I should break up with him. I'm just this quiet girl that doesn't speak much. He could be with someone so much better than me.

Anyway what I really wanted to ask was am I a bad girlfriend? All this relationship stuff is new to me and I'm just so confused right now. I haven't known this guy for long but I feel so attached to him already and I don't want to lose him.

Also what do I do about the whole not speaking to each other situation? I don't know how to go about sorting it out. I'm really really shy around him so going up to him and just asking him why he's ignoring me is just near enough impossible.