I have had past sexual and physical, emotional abuse and alot of trauma in my life. I have never really dealt with it and have been seeing a therapist since I was 17 years old, but this is the first therapist that I have ever really started talking about it with. The first one I felt comfortable with. I am scared to death to start looking at some of the stuff in my past and really working on it b/c it is so painful. She tells me I have depersonalization and derealization from what I explain to her the symptoms I am having right now. They are more than I can handle.