I have and still am struggling with some severe jealousy and territoral issues in my relationship

I love my bf more than anything, he is my best friend, my lover, I feel safe and happy with him, he treats me right and even after a year together gives me butterflies. I know some of my jealousy issues fuel from bf is my first, my first true love, I lost my virginity to him, and he is the first man I have ever trusted completely.

I do struggle with a lot of jealousy issues though, and they aren't getting better. I get huffy and mad if any women from his past get brought up. I get huffy if other women hug him or say hi (these are mutual female friends that are also in dedicated relationships or married).

I"m VERY insecure and due to a history of childhood sexual abuse from my uncle , some issues with my dad (in him asking for me to hide things and lie to my mother) , and being in an emotionally abusive relationship before being with bf (my ex would tell me all the time I wasn't pretty enough, that such and such woman he knew was so much prettier than me, would cheat on me constitantly etc) it has left me with a lot of emotional wounds that make me struggle to trust men or believe men can treat me well.

I don't feel like I am pretty enough, smart enough, etc for my bf, none of which these thoughts are fed by anything my bf does, he is constantly telling me how much he loves me, doing little things for me, telling me how beautiful I look etc.

I know my jealousy and trust issues are going to be a harm to our relationship in the long run if I can't get control over them, the thing is I know how toxic they are for me and the relationship I just can't control them sometimes, the best I can do is stuff them down and swallow them.

I hate women I don't know and will never know just because at one time they dated my bf. I avoid a certain store just because I found out my bf's ex works there and I asked bf to never go there either.

Bf lets me have my fits but he warns me they are toxic to me and he won't condone behavior like that, he wants me to see how childish it is and go talk to a therapist to get at the root of the problem.

I don't understand why I behave in such a manner, I am usually level headed and very matrue, but when it comes to this I loose all logic and end up in tears and having a fit. It fuels disagreements between us, and leaves a sour taste in my mouth for behaving in such a manner.

I don't understand it, and it makes me ashamed of myself, I need help, or ways to help control it. I will be hunting for a therapist in the area this summer once classes are out. For now I need suggestions for coping mechanisms or ways to overcome this little green monster so it doesn't destroy me.