After all that I've read in your posts about your "broken-ness" I have to be completely honest and say your first goal should not be to ask anything of her. In what you did to cause her to want to divorce you, YOU were at fault and I don't think you're in a place to ask for anything of her at this point, if not for a very long time. Your goal is to show her what you're commitment level really is. You've not only gone outside the marriage but you further pursued that woman and only when she left you did you actually return to your wife or try to.