BP NOS was my initial dx too. However, with some insight gained since going on meds, I've since recognized that I do have hypomanic phases in which I'm either on top of the world, or I'm so agitated and jumpy that I feel almost like I could kill something. My thoughts race through my head at about 120 MPH and tumble around like squirrels in a cage.....I can't concentrate, I can't sleep, and I don't give a $#!+. Then there's the depression, which lasts a lot longer and turns me into a zombie.

The worst, though, was when I went on Wellbutrin about a year ago and in retrospect, I realized that it made me totally manic, which is why my pdoc said he may end up changing my dx to BP II. I don't suppose it matters much.....there's no question of my bipolarity, only the degree to which it interferes with my life.

Right now the combination of Lamictal, Celexa, and Ativan is working really well. The thing I'm going to have to remember is NOT to try going off the meds again!! I hate taking pills to feel 'normal', but I never want to have another mixed episode like I went through for much of the past 3 1/2 months. I don't recommend ANYONE go off their meds without first getting guidance from a medical professional (and no, not a bipolar RN ).

So yes, I can relate to your dx, and while I've mostly accepted mine, I tend to view the BP as a separate entity. I'm still trying to figure out which of my behaviors are just part of my quirky personality, and which ones are related to BP. Since I'm newly dx'd, I think that's going to take a while. Not sure how much help I can be, but if you need a sounding board, I'm here.