I must had sent him ten emails. He finally gave in and sent me a reassuring email. I feel horrible I did so badly. I hate myself. I hate that I can't trust our relationship now matter how much I SHOULD. I hate that I am so BROKEN. I'm sure he thinks I'm crazy. I'm sure I'm going to get in trouble for tonight. I should have coped better. I should have tried harder. I gave into my feelings, and I failed miserably at impulse control. He hates me now.