Quote:
Originally Posted by lostmyway21
... I of course picked out one sentence he said and dwelled on it and then emailed him about it. He asked me in session why I just didn't stay home. (which was out of concern for how tired I was for getting out of ER late that night) That totally triggered my abandonment issues.
So I sent him an email asking him if he was tired of seeing me... He replied "I want you to answer that question, you should already know the answer." That provoked a meaner response, from me... I must had sent him ten emails. He finally gave in and sent me a reassuring email. I feel horrible I did so badly. I hate myself... I'm sure I'm going to get in trouble for tonight. I should have coped better. I should have tried harder. I gave into my feelings, and I failed miserably at impulse control. He hates me now.
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so these quotes make it sound like you think it's your behaviour that makes your dads or T get mad and leave. which in a way would be better, safer, because then you would be able to control their leaving. so maybe that's why you got "meaner" with T.
you have formed a strong partnership with T, you should be very proud of yourself. I don't know if the above description is exactly your old family dynamic, but I would say you FELT your feelings, not that you "gave in" to them. you're very brave to do so.
