so these quotes make it sound like you think it's your behaviour that makes your dads or T get mad and leave. which in a way would be better, safer, because then you would be able to control their leaving. so maybe that's why you got "meaner" with T.

you have formed a strong partnership with T, you should be very proud of yourself. I don't know if the above description is exactly your old family dynamic, but I would say you FELT your feelings, not that you "gave in" to them. you're very brave to do so.