Well to be exact--I get hit with what feels like pretty full blown mania and then I hit rock bottom. Today I just want to crawl into bed and not come back out. I've some urges to hurt myself but nothing suicidal. The big thing that's shown up to my great surprise and dismay is the urge to lapse back into bulimia and anorexia. I've had that hit before with depression. I haven't done anything, mainly because of my girls, but the urge sure is there. I'm going to try and get extra sleep if I can this weekend. Hopefully that will help.