I've been following this guy since freshman year. We never really were friends but we were in a couple classes together. I've always been trying to connect with him and he pushes me away. That's how it was through senior year. It's been almost a year since I have last seen him and it's driving me crazy. He's off at beauty school and I'm stuck just staring at his facebook page that he rarely updates. Since December I started sending him messages with no response about once or twice per month and it makes me feel guilty. After 5 years I am still not over him. It doesn't help that I make up imaginary conversations with him and imagine hanging out with him and having fantasies about him.

I have tried bringing it up in therapy but it usually goes off into another subject, like they are trying to find the root of why I am doing this rather than focusing on trying to stop it altogether.

I just sent him another message, and I'm feeling really guilty about it. I worry that eventually he will blow up in my face about it, or worse that he will block me and I will have no way of seeing him anymore. I know I'm supposed to move on but I can't.

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