helllo this is bugs on swing

new here i for the past few months fighting with not wanting to eat the past couple weeks it has been bad. i eat or drink something then wilth in minutes or a few hours the feeling and words in m headthat i needto throw-up
, have ideas how to do it have not done it yet but hav come close.

my T said that if i was 12 and on a feeding tube then sure she would do things differently, also that i am not really sick just pretending or acting like i am sick so i can have things a certain way.
that only made it worse.. not sure what to do am afraid itwill turn into a more definate eating disorder i also aM a nightime eater help