Divorce should be a last option, but it does take two to make a marriage work. You can not carry it all on your shoulders. He needs to man up. The drinking and spending money sounds like a young person. How old is he? It took my husband until he was 25 to start settling down and stop spending money on bars and poker. We went to counseling. Thats a very good place to start. It will take time but sounds like its time you make it happen. Best of luck