Quote:
Originally Posted by bowhunt72
Rose - you are absolutely right, this is a tough crowd, but like you say, I asked for it. As for the True Love, the Other Woman...deep breath...
Yes, I am hurting badly because of her choice. Yeah, that hurt. A lot. And realizing that I had wrecked my marriage for someone who let me down when it was time to make a tough decision hurt even worse. The next morning, after waking up alone in our bed, I collapsed. I had a major crash, went suicidal, and wound up in the hospital.
All of you who see only that I was guilty of infidelity, enjoy yourselves. To those of you who remember that this is a support forum, thanks for listening. This is the situation I have forced my wife to deal with. She's not ready to take me back, not by a long shot. I have a lot of healing and straightening myself out to do before she will even let me try to work on the marriage.
So that's what I'm doing. I'm off work and going to the hospital three days a week for group therapy. I'm trying to heal and improve myself, and even trying to forgive myself as my wife has asked me to.
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Bow, I honestly don't think anyone here is happy that you are in pain or suffering. Not at all! (I'd venture that is why most, if not all, of us are here).
But you did ask for input regarding recovering from infidelity, while at the same time beating yourself up
... and that is a trigger (both emotional and moral) for many people. That is what I meant.
However, perhaps your anger with some of the respones ... is misguided and a mask for where the true pain and grief should go?
Work on your health (physical and emotional), be gentle with yourself, grieve, heal and get to the root of the matter(s).
Then, perhaps, you will see things in a different light.
Try (for once) to put yourself first. I know it's probably not your way, but that is really the only way you will be able to think about what you want next. Not what you estranged spouse wants.
Take good care of you.