I am only good for one thing. Cant do anything right. I try all the time and I just get in trouble. I cant help it I cant, I mean it. School is too hard because they all make fun of me. Im not one of the cool kids. I got in a fight this year because this girl in my class when i moved to this school, she was telling the other girls in my class things about me that werent true, only from one desk away! She told them i dont shower and that i pee my pants - I dont pee my pants. Of course the other girls beleived her. its so frustrating.

I dont like much and i always cut school because its too hard for me to understand some of the subjects and it just makes it harder cause they put me in the dummy class. we get to do almost nothing all day mind you but i am good at some things.

I get to teach art to grade primary - six this year because our program got cut. Im friends with mr green, the art teacher. hes the only one who beleives in me really. i painted an eagle and he hung it up on the wall going into school where everyone could see it. he says that i should go to art school. i duno though, im only 14.

sometimes i go down to the classroom where the disabled kids are, they are so sweet even though they cant do things like most of us. josh is a guy there, he cant talk and he is in a wheelchair, i dont know whats wrong with him but i know hes nice cause he always smiles. a while ago he came to art class and i got to help him fingerpaint. he smiled and laughed and it made me feel good.

sometimes i wish i could just do these things. instead of math and stuff. math is so hard i could cry. I dunno.

and i can never concentrate because of the cort stuff. sometimes i cant get away from it.. i dont like to talk about it but i was told i can trust you guys and you never hurt the others so i guess. I write alot, i know. I win awards sometimes for my writings. I wrote poems that got published one year a while back. I dont have them now though.

i like my room because i can decorate it like me. my nannie lets me do whatever i want to it. it makes it so much better for me because i can change it like i change, which is alot. but it sucks not going to school too because the friends i do have i dont get to see and then i feel dumb when they come get me after school.

-~*~melly~*~