how are you doing? when do you see T again? how did your sister's visit go, is she alright? I hope you're feeling better, feeling more "contained". maybe something like kacey's weighted blanket would help. I visited relatives in italy when I was in college, and at one home the memory of a very heavy bunch of quilts on the bed still stays with me. I do kind of always feel ke I could just fly off into space. at the end of sessions, I would move my foot to leave, but now T has started really clonking his boot down across my shin so I can't move as he delivers his Jerry Springer-type Final Thoughts - it makes me feel held, wanted, not so broken, crazy. it's all transference, but that's all right - as long as it fixes what's broken so we can eventually move on without the goofy stuff spilling over or leaking out.