Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
how are you doing? when do you see T again? how did your sister's visit go, is she alright? I hope you're feeling better, feeling more "contained". maybe something like kacey's weighted blanket would help. I visited relatives in italy when I was in college, and at one home the memory of a very heavy bunch of quilts on the bed still stays with me. I do kind of always feel ke I could just fly off into space. at the end of sessions, I would move my foot to leave, but now T has started really clonking his boot down across my shin so I can't move as he delivers his Jerry Springer-type Final Thoughts - it makes me feel held, wanted, not so broken, crazy. it's all transference, but that's all right - as long as it fixes what's broken so we can eventually move on without the goofy stuff spilling over or leaking out.
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Thanks for asking I'm doing a little better today. Very ashamed and embararssed for the way I behaved yesterday. I made bad choices and did things that amplified my feelings. I've must have apologized 10x already to T. I have therapy on Monday. I had pdoc today, and it went okay, T had spoken to pdoc last night and made it a lot easier for me to talk to pdoc today and do my med change. I'm still unsure and scared that T is mad at me but I asked him if he forgives me for last night and he replied "y" so I have to force myself to believe everything is okay. Last night the only thing that kept me calm was the warmth of my service dog laying against my chest, something he's been trained to do since he was a puppy. I feel contained today, I just wish I hadn't coped so horribly yesterday. I hate letting down T.