He is 37 me 27 as I mentioned before we live in a very rural part of SA close to Mozambique, he works at a lodge and I am a teacher so when I have holiday he works. No going to a mall or even a shop - we have a grocer about 20km away and then just tuckshops with the neccesary things and restaurants and off course the beach. I just can't leave them both with him I'd worry too much. I know he is a great dad but taking care of them is everything I had postpartum depression after bebe 1 and was convinced she was going to die. So letting them out of my sight is very hard. Divorce is a last option I agree, just had enough pf yesterday when I he got home. Thanx all