Maybe I missed discussion of this in the prior posts, but what about your children? It seems as if you're just having a problem being alone now that the affair did not work out the way you wanted it to. What kind of lessons are you teaching them about trust and commitment? You, your wife and the other woman are all adults, but no one seems to be thinking about how all this jerking back and forth is going to affect those kids and their future ability to form relationships. Stop worrying about getting your wife/life back and think about how to make them feel safe again. This has hit a personal note for me and I speak from experience...my father cheated on my mother and then had a nervous breakdown when neither my mother or the woman with whom he had the affair really wanted to make a go of it with him. He was hospitalized and on suicide watch too...I had to visit him in the hospital when I was about 13 and will never forget the scene...he was devastated over all he had lost. While I have forgiven his weakness now that I'm an adult, I will not be able to forgive what he took away from me...when a child cannot trust his/her own parent, it makes ALL future relationships more difficult. So, while you're probably not 100% guilty (and neither is your wife)...you'd both be better off figuring out what is best for your children right now and then making sure it matches up with what you both want...they will need time to heal too...and, depending on their ages, may not have the maturity to process this without care and help.

If you honestly believe you can be faithful to your wife and the both of you can rebuild a happy family together, then I hope you get the help that you need to make this happen. Before you go back though...please have a good understanding of why it would be different the next go-around....don't just go back because she lets you come back...or nothing will have changed at all.

Good luck to all of you.