Bow...in terms of healing yourself, just be patient. My father actually went back to school and ended up getting a Phd in psychology. He has been in a committed relationship with a woman for the last 25 years or so and is just about the happiest he's ever been...but, he took a lot of time and made a lot of effort to understand himself. He and my mother are on friendly terms and he has relationships with both daughters. It's not perfect, but no relationships are....and they don't have to be because that just doesn't exist. Honestly, think of the tide...you can't control its ebb and flow...so, just try to enjoy it.