it was this:

I had pdoc today, and it went okay, T had spoken to pdoc last night and made it a lot easier for me to talk to pdoc today and do my med change. I'm still unsure and scared that T is mad at me but I asked him if he forgives me for last night and he replied "y"... Last night the only thing that kept me calm was the warmth of my service dog laying against my chest, something he's been trained to do since he was a puppy. I feel contained today...