Hi! thanks for your help! so i have been to a therapist and i wasnt able to stay long enough to really get any real help. The biggest thing i was worried about was that I couldnt control my rage, i wasnt really aware of what i was doing or why. it wasnt calculated. I really was out of control. this has occurred before.

After it happens i have no clue why the heck i just did that. I also get overwhelming thoughts of suicide triggered by idiotic frustration over nothing.

To me I dont believe i have any illness but i am worried about the rage thing because once i cross that line, theres no going back (for about a day) . this worries me (and my dad) I mean i look like the girl from the exorcist, its scary! and i hate it.

to me the symptoms sound familiar but i just dont believe i have that big of a problem except for the rage thing.

anyways believe it or not where i moved to doesnt have enough drs to help everybody so nobody can fit me into their schedule. so im sorta SOL .

in the mean time i think i will look up anger management