I turned 40 this past year, I have BP, endometriosis and fibroids; this I have come to terms with but what I have been struggling lately with the fact that I am single, childless, and without a family of my own, other than the pets, which I adore. I have always said, "what will be, will be". There is also with grave fear about passing on the BP to children and that it might be for the best that I do not have children. I relish the role of being Auntie to family's and friends' children, but there is this ache that that though this may be exactly what was meant to be, I am tired of hearing from others, why aren't you with someone, have your own family, you would make such a great mom; it hurts. Lately I have been grieving for a miscarriage years ago and unrelated engagement that mutually ended. The grief and the sadness are overwhelming me. I wish I could be more settled with this and to stop the hurt.

It may be because I have been sick, my resolve is weaker right now but I need to, I don't know, figure something out because it pains me.

I have never shared this with anyone but I needed through the tears to let it out.
Thanks for listening .