Hi there - I've been reading this forum for a long time now, but it was this post that finally got me to join. I had a session with my T yesterday where we were talking about transference. Every time the subject comes up I get angry when T tries to bring the conversation around to my father. It happened again yesterday and I said "i don't undertand. You keep telling me the same thing and I don't understand. I've read everything I can on transference and I DON"T UNDERSTAND". He told me that it was because it wasn't logical. It wasn't my logical brain that was going to figure it out. All of those transference feelings were happening in my unconscious and only when I stopped trying to protect myself against those feelings would I be able to working through them.
I'm smart. I'm logical. None of that matters when it comes to my feelings. I still can't tell if I'm angry or sad half the time. 3 yrs of therapy, I haven't read anything but psych books since I started, and I still can't figure out if I'm sad or angry.
One thing I do know is that my T is probably going to have to tell me the same thing again the next time the subject of transference comes up