I really do appreciate the support and people's willingness to share their own experiences. Others have brought up other sides to the same issue (or what I think of as the same issues). Like not being able to identify emotions, or understanding the words but being completely unable to grasp the concept, or not even understanding the questions I'm being asked.

I talked to my T on the telephone the other day and he asked me something, and I didn't even understand the question. I was just so . . . I dunno what the emotion was, how's that for still ignorant after two years of therapy? So I just said, "I don't understand the question. I guess I'm just so stupid I can't even figure out WHAT you're asking." He told me I wasn't stupid, I was frustrated. Then finally just ended up TELLING me what he was trying to get to by asking the question. [have I mentioned I hate the Socratic method and people asking me crap they already know the answer to and could just tell me? yea, law school was a BUNCH of fun for me. ] I do love it when he's willing to just TELL me what the stupid emotion is so I can stop guessing. The nice thing about phone calls is he only has less then ten minutes to talk so he cannot just sit there and wait for me to try to figure it out.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble. I did and do like reading about other people's experiences, and appreciate the ideas about re-wiring brains, reassurance, and subconscious resistance that help me realize that there are explanations other than stupidity for my need for repetition.