So I was wrong about it grounding me. I feel just as disconnected as before, with the added benifit of wanting more. If it wasn't for the fact that I scared myself good and proper I would have definitely kept on going.

I went into my room got my blades out and all, and it seemed like after no time at all I was at my worst point. The point it takes me hours to reach, blood-wise, in only 10 or so minutes. The gush of blood caught me off guard. I dissasociate while injuring, but I am still aware of depth and severity and all I just don't feel connected to the pain or myself. This time no. Without even realising, I think I went through the vein in my wrist because the blood came flowing hard and fast. I ran to the bathroom as to not make a mess and get it to stop (so I could go back to injuring some more to make it perfect). I felt faint, for the first time ever in the nearly 11 years harming. I sat down on the floor. 15 minutes later I came to. I had passed out. That's new to me, it's never happened before. I still feel quite faint and light headed. I don't know why I am saying this but, I know its not good and yet aside from scaring the piss out of me, I liked.

Please help