((((((puffyprue)))))
I'm sorry

Life throws us hard balls sometimes. I don't dare say that I have suffered like you have, I don't claim to know how you've been crippled, and how life is hitting you right now. One thing I have learned though, over time, is that there are ways to make the best of bad situations... that you can heal from being crippled, either physically or emotionally (emotionally for me, I genuinely was very hurt, very badly damaged and I am healing). I also know that depression can make it seem like that healing is impossible.
Please don't let depression kill your hope.
Do you want to talk about about what has happened to you? Maybe it would help to get it off your chest