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Old Apr 07, 2012, 11:38 AM
tkdgirl tkdgirl is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2012
Posts: 440
Thanks for all the great responses, definately more to think about.

Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
If it is a trade off, no I would not.
SD do you think it is a tradeoff?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SpiritRunner View Post
Some of this EQ business is also tied into social intelligence/awareness/skills - those can be learned, at least on the surface; the deeper things, such as learning to be more aware of and read body language/emotional nuances, and respond more appropriately, would be harder to learn, perhaps, but possible.
Where I lack as far as EQ goes is not perception.....but what to DO with that perception, both within myself and in interactions with others. I'm learning, but it's sometimes a steep, rocky path, and I fall a lot.
I don't lack social skills/awareness, either, but I am just not polished, smooth, always gracious ......
I agree some of the EQ stuff can be learned but I don't think this learning is linked to current IQ necessarily. This is where the struggle seems to come into play. You can't learn all aspects of EQ from a book, there seems to be some aspect that almost seems to be indescribable. I'm working on coming up with some examples. And it seems even harder to learn when ones default is to try use logic to understand, which doesn't appear to do that well in learning EQ.

Quote:
Originally Posted by farmergirl View Post
Obviously not all people of high IQ are lacking EQ, but can be a problem. Would I give up IQ points for EQ if I was low on EQ? I have a few points to spare I suppose, but I wouldn't give up much. My IQ allows me to understand and appreciate things that are very important to me and give me much pleasure. I wouldn't want to lose those.
This is where I seem to be right now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna View Post
As my parents' account book had as a family slogan Scotch-taped to the cover:

"It is better to be rich and healthy than it is to be poor and sick".

EQ can be learned (just as IQ can be raised); I don't think IQ matters as much nor do I think there's a standardized test to measure EQ like IQ is measured. Good link on how to raise your EQ:

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eq5_...telligence.htm
Great link, thanks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by My kids are cool View Post
At the risk of sounding like I'm bragging, I'm on the extreme end that farmergirl talks about. I can remember entire conversations virtually verbatim (my mother was annoyed and tested it out with a tape recorder once or twice but then beat the snot out of me when I was right because I was unable to NOT say, "see I was right!"). I could remember and quote passages of books and took tests by closing my eyes and re-reading the text in my head [WISH I could still do that].

I do think there is a certain lack of empathy that goes along with higher levels of intelligence. It was hard for me to accept that others were not just being difficult when they didn't remember things I did, or didn't see connections that seemed obvious to me. I actually think the severe abuse I grew up with helped me learn emotional skills I would otherwise be lacking -- empathy and an ability to read the emotional state of others (negative emotional states anyway). I know that I lack hugely in other areas of emotional intelligence, particularly in relation to my OWN emotions.

In reference to the original question, no, I wouldn't trade. I wouldn't know how to function any other way. I figure I will learn the EQ things eventually and if they came to me suddenly, particularly if linked to a drop in my IQ, I might not be able to function effectively still.
MKAC, I'm sorry for how you were treated. I think its admirable that you can flip it around and find something positive to take from it. I'm wondering, would having more EQ not provide you a different way to function? I'm trying to understand why you might not be able to function effectively if you had more EQ and a bit less IQ. Is it that your job extremely technical where a bit less IQ would be detremental? (you don't have to answers I'm just curious)