As the song says its getting harder and harder to breathe. I cant believe I'm doing this I just cant hold it back anymore. First off, my brother is going to be spending nine days with a girl I met first and I was starting to like in another country. They're practically ment for eachother, even my own mother thinks so. Speaking of my mother, the best mother in the world but just ignores said brother when he bullies me- even punching me in the back of the head recently and my mother saying "I'm not refereeing this one." He's a selfish, ignorant person and I think I may be the only one on the face of the earth that may be able to see that. I'm also Catholic and have another brother, oldest, and alot nicer then my other brother, thing is, I'm 95% sure he's gay, and he's an athiest. Trust me, you have to know him. I lost a close relative when I was only ten I believe, never got over that. Then theres all those college buddies my oldest, alleged gay brother of mine had made over the four years he was in college. Those guys were the best but I'll never forget this one time, after a few years after my oldest brother graduated, my oldest brother, a close friend "Tee", and myself were to meet in a city. When we met Tee embraced little me, picking me up and hugging me like I was his brother. I couldnt remember the last time one of my own brothers did something like that. Haven't seen him in about two or three years, its like he was never even alive, my oldest brother must be obsessed with his roomate now. I was bullied heavily in the seventh grade. Had my first entire beer when I was thirteen, and I've been looking for drugs for a long time. I am sorry, I just had to let this all out, luckily I'm able to laugh atleast. Can someone try and explain to me whats going on with me? Thank you.