Don't feel horrible. Lots of patients withhold things from their therapist or pdoc. Hell, I've withheld something important from my pdoc for the past FIVE years. I finally decided I'm going to tell her the next time I see her. Therapists and pdocs know we withhold things from them. They expect it. I know when I see patients as a med student, I expect them to withhold certain things or fudge the truth on certain things (especially stuff like drug use). I wouldn't take it personally if I found out a patient had withheld something from me. I would just want them to tell me so I could help them better.

The trichotillomania is almost gone since I started on abilify. The abilify has really been a miracle drug for me. My trichotillomania was REALLY bad. I used to pull *constantly*....hundreds or thousands of hairs a day. Now I pull out maybe a few hairs a week, if that!
Now I pretty much just scratch and pick at my scalp. Even that is better on the abilify. Before abilify, I would pick at my scalp so much that it was always bleeding, open, and sore. Now, I rarely pick so much that it bleeds.

As for the paranoia...last year I was suddenly convinced that a boy in my class was going to bring a gun to school and shoot everyone. I was so convinced that I told campus police. I thought it was my duty to warn everyone. Now I think back to it, and I'm so embarrassed. I can't understand why I was so paranoid. It was for sure a delusion. It's freaky to think I could have been so completely convinced of something that in retrospect seems so crazy. I mean, I pride myself on being logical and rational, so the idea that I could suffer from a delusion like that really upsets me.

Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk, newtus. I'll do my best to help.