right now i feel like the biggest piece of scum on the planet, i suck and i deserve everything i get!

can't stop thinking about my boys and how much i MUST have screwed them up. they all have special needs (autism) and have lived with foster folks on a farm since their daddy topped himself and i had a breakdown. it was only supposed to be temporary but then social workers found out i'm D.I.D. etc and too pathetic to rear the beautiful babies i carelessly brought into the world.

scum like me shouldn't even be born. and now you all know the kind of person i am, i expect no replies, i just don't see any reason to bother with myself any more, some pain is just too bloody much!!!