Feel free to PM me a list of meds you have tried if you are less paranoid that way. It's too bad the abilify didn't work for your hair-pulling. Given that you've tried a bunch of anti-depressants and anti-psychotics with no luck, it probably rules out serotonin and dopamine as the root cause (no pun intended) of your hair-pulling. What about anti-convulsants...have you tried those? Like, anti-seizure meds (e.g. lithium, depakote, tegretol, topamax, neurontin, lyrica...) ? They work either by increasing GABA or inhibiting glutamate. I recently read some articles showing that topamax can be effective for hair-pulling. I actually want to try topamax myself, since I found articles that show it can also be effective for tics and treatment-resistant OCD. Plus it make you lose weight, lol.

You're not a loser or a freak. you're dealing with psychosis, which is a very serious illness. I think going back as a freshman over and over shows perseverence...that you're not willing to just give up. What subjects are you most interested in?

Anyway, with time you can find the right cocktail of meds and rebuild your life. My cousin is schizophrenic, and he has held down a job for the past 30 years, has a loving wife and two wonderful kids. It's possible...it just takes some time and some trial-and-error in the beginning to reach stability. I'm not saying it's easy, but for most people, it can be done.