[quote=tkdgirl;2307746]



I agree some of the EQ stuff can be learned but I don't think this learning is linked to current IQ necessarily. This is where the struggle seems to come into play. You can't learn all aspects of EQ from a book, there seems to be some aspect that almost seems to be indescribable. I'm working on coming up with some examples. And it seems even harder to learn when ones default is to try use logic to understand, which doesn't appear to do that well in learning EQ.


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Yes, I think there is a greater struggle for some than others, and that high intelligence/intellectual capabilities isn't necessarily going to make it easy to learn all aspects of EQ - and might in some ways work against one.
I think perhaps there is sometimes a deep, innate personality element involved, as in nature.....or a person was so deeply affected by environmental circumstances/upbringing, as in nurture, that the wiring, if you will, is very hard to change. That's not worded as precisely as I'd like to describe the mental image I have of what I mean.....
I think for myself I could have learned more EQ growing up when I was younger, my brain more malleable, my personality/traits/coping skills not so deeply embedded.....that I could have more easily learned emotional regulation/social graces, etc if I had not been so busy just surviving. I think my intelligence is what enabled me to develop some of the coping skills I needed to survive, my intelligence is one of the few definite cornerstones of my identity that I have always had.....but some things about EQ defy being learned purely through sheer intellectual ability, true. It takes somewhat of a different approach.....for me, it has been more of a spiritual one. My spirituality, for me, is something that has really helped me grow emotionally......
I too think that there are many different types of intelligence/abilities, many unique ways in which those are blended in each of us.....
For myself, I stink at numbers, I am not really a coolly logical (though I am analytical), mathematical, scientific type, but I am good with words, with abstract, conceptional thinking. I am really good at thinking about and parsing out my emotions ...... and I am good at sitting down and thinking about others' words/actions and parsing out their motives. I am good at the whole thinking thing ..... but I falter when it comes to the practical application of what I do with my perceptions, both accurate/inaccurate, how I should react accordingly. I can also analyze my emotions, but that doesn't mean I am so great at regulating them.....working on this.
Intelligence and wisdom are related, but also oh so different.....I am very smart, but not so wise; very intellectual, but not as versed in common sense, practical knowledge......
I choose to believe I am capable of learning, though, and that the effort is worth it. I can at least adapt/modify my behavior, even if I can't altogether change my personality/intelligence level and style/way of thinking or what goes on in the deepest parts of me. I accept that for me, certain aspects of social interactions/relationships are more of a struggle and I have to be more alert and think more what to do because it doesn't all come naturally/easily to me....