Well, it's back. The chest pain and tightness that I hate. I get it when I am just overwhelmed by things.

I have so much to do (in my book) that I'm finding it very overwhelming right now. I have to find a way to get my rent to the landlord. I have a baby shower to go to tomorrow. I've gotta pay bills. I need to fix my computer, need to find a way to therapy, need to do so many things.

If you looked at my life on a daily basis, you'd wonder what it is that overwhelmed me or whatever. I'm sure of it. But really it is a lot for me.

Here's a list of my daily activities:

Wake up
Turn on computer
Make supper
Do dishes/clean
Answer phone calls
Turn off computer
Go to bed

That's about it. All the while I'm worrying about finances, relationships, people's expectations of me, missing my appointments (due to anxiety), missing the chance to call for transportation to my appointments (due to forgetfulness), fearing going to partial because of my anxiety and thinking I should find another place to get therapy, etc.

I don't go outside. Ever. So the idea of going anywhere puts a lot of fear and anxiety into me. Probably the cause for all my chest pain and tightness right now since I know I have a baby shower to go to tomorrow. Up to 35 people are gonna be there. And I struggle just being around 5 people. I don't know how I'm gonna handle that one.

I even missed my pdoc appointment a couple weeks ago. I'm almost out of meds. Oh well.