The story about the apparently racially-based shootings out of Tulsa deeply saddens me. Apparently two white men were arrested for the shootings of five black people - three of whom died. My first reaction was that this was just a couple of racists, but now I think it's more than that. It's a failure to effectively manage destructive emotions.

I'm basing my conclusions on my own research this morning, but I'm pretty sure I'm correct it what I think happened. It was an event that occurred two years ago that led to these shootings. On April 6, 2010 the father of one of the Tulsa shooters was killed by a black man during an argument. The shooter, Jake England, is 19 now, so he would have been 17 when he lost his father. Here's a news story from the time of the shooting: http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/artic...0_Police935139

A few months ago, apparently, the mother of Jake's son also died.

His posts on his facebook wall reflect his pain and the concern of his friends: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...116727&sk=wall

Clearly he didn't get the help he needed. The result is this tragedy.

I was meditating on this incident this morning. I was picturing the pain that lead up the shooting of Jake's father in 2010. What in the backgrounds of these two men brought them to that place, both angry, one armed with a gun?

Then I thought about Jake's pain and confusion over the last two years - a festering wound he doesn't seem to have had the resources - internal or external - to deal with.

Then I imagined that pain spreading out from the horrible acts he and his friend committed last Friday. Where will that pain lead? Is there a friend or family member of one of the victims who will now commit other terrible acts because of their suffering? And what of Jake's young son who has lost his mother to death and likely his father to prison?

Where does it stop?

I wondered what I would have done if I had known Jake. Would I have seen how deep his pain was? Would I have known how to help him defuse the bomb? Maybe there are Jakes in my life right now, and I don't recognize the depths of their suffering?

Where does it stop? It has to stop with each of us. We each have to find ways of managing our destructive emotions, and we have to reach out to others in pain. The peace on earth starts with each of us as individuals.

The acts committed by Jake England and his friend last Friday were their own. But to the extent that our culture encourages fear, anger, and aggression, we all had a hand in it. Culture is made of the beliefs and thoughts of millions of individuals. We can change our fear-based, angry culture one person at a time by working on making ourselves calmer, more peaceful, more compassionate.

I, for one, have committed myself to redoubling my efforts to learn to cope more and more effectively with my own destructive emotions (anger, fear, envy), so that I don't spread my pain on to other victims by acting out my aggression. Even an unkind word or snotty comment inflicts pain needlessly - and it doesn't even bring us any relief.

I hope others will join me in (re)committing to kindness and compassion - with this tragedy as a stark example of where mismanaged pain can lead.