"I'm just being honest with you"

I hate this phrase. Hate it. It's one of my pet peeves (along with people who say "oh, I'm always late", but then never do anything to change their behavior to BE ON TIME). I think people just use it as an excuse to be a bully. I think of myself as a very honest person, but I use your criteria- is this kind? Is it necessary?- before I say anything.

In t, I think it's a little different. Sometimes we have to accept that our t may have to say something that is hard to hear. But in your particular case- when you have specifically asked for him to stop doing something- than we go back to the null hypothesis- he's being a bully. Or at least acting like one.