Leed has a lot of good points here. She always has good advice.

But when it comes to labeling anyone with narcissist, you have to be very careful.
First of all everyone has some narcissist tendencies to begin with. And so it can get confusing to make a clear cut diagnosis of a true narcissist. And that is a catch label used by many to discribe someone who many be strong or outgoing and could even seem a little self aborbed. Someone who is self absorbed could come from a lot of other problems they deal with and have nothing to do with narcissism.

I had to read about what it meant myself. And I have to say I did meet one and spent a good amount of time with him not truely realizing what he was but I had neve met anyone like him before.

He is a horse trainer and also trains riders and competes. He was obcessed with sex and seemed to need to talk about is and even had no inhibitions about asking very private questions either. His main goal was to win and when he did he made sure to rub everyone elses nose in it to a point where I was so completely embarrassed. He proclaimed he loved his children but as time went on his recognition of them were only in how he used them to either get what HE wanted or if they pleased him in some way. He truely didn't consider THEIR FEELINGS AND NEEDS. And he made it a point every day to read the obituaries to see who died in case he might know them and maybe they left him money, I never met anyone who did that.

To him vengence was a priority and he remembered anyone who somehow did better than him, disagreed with him, had more social standing then him, would not date him and he would make every attempt he could at finding ways to get back at them in a very obcessive way.

Everywhere we went he would need to show off what his horses could do, even it it risked the horses health in the warm up ring. He needed to have others turn and admire him in some way to feel happy. And if he wasn't doing that he was trying to impress the wealthy somehow to see if he could obtain them as clients. And if he couldn't he would make it his goal to try to find ways to beat them in competitions no matter what. He would convince his riders that the goal was, beat so and so or else.
And if he did, he would laugh and laugh with great pleasure and make sure he could place himself in earshot of that person and gloat loudly over his wins and how HE HAD ALL THE WINNERS.

As far as the students he had in his barn, he didn't like the parents to get friendly with each other, oh no that would jeapordize his control so he would plant seeds of lies to create them to doubt each other. The adoration that took place had to all be focused on him.

And if he felt in his mind that something was jeopardizing his power, well what he did with me is come to me and ask me if I said things that never even had ever crossed my mind. It was all about HIS STRANGE NEED FOR SOME KIND OF LOYALTY.

And if he lost or didn't get his way? Oh he would turn bright red and stomp off like a child, it was quite a display.

So those are a few of some of the qualities I saw and there were many more that never ceased to amaze me. And he never ceased with his grandious ideas either.

Now, if someone is wise and decides not to hang out in certain groups that are caddy and soap opera like. That doesn't mean they are narcissists. Narcissists are BIG TIME USERS who befriend people to add to their list of those that have things they can use instead of buying those things on their own. They are very cunning I must say sometimes.

So be careful about labeling people with this as well as labeling yourself too. And they have very little, if any empathy for others. Their empathy has a price tag on it.

Open Eyes