I fought the idea that I had any mental illness at all - I'm not like all those crazy people locked up in the psych ward. When I finally realized I had something, it was "just" depression, I'd never had a manic episode. Looking back, what about all the times that...um, yeah. Ok, maybe I'm bipolar II, a little hypomania once in a while maybe. Just came off my first major manic episode, 3-4 months long and destructive due to rapidly making very poor decisions. Now there's no doubt. Bipolar. And generalized anxiety disorder. And post traumatic stress disorder. And obsessive compulsive disorder. And I've been one of the crazy people locked up in the psych ward. Six times now. Sometimes reality really sucks.

Try to keep an open mind - I know it's hard these are very difficult subjects - as you educate yourself about BP. Talk about your meds with your pdoc. Talk with your T. Keep coming here and posting, we're all in this together and we'll help as much as we can, even if it's just listening.